Paying it forward for Jackie

This week I lost another ‘old’ Rockwall friend.  Jackie Daniel.  The first time I met her I was very young and pre-elementary school.  She was my Mama’s hairdresser. Mama had a standing Wednesday appointment at Daniel Beauty Salon (located on San Jacinto St when it was two-way).  Occasionally I would go with her in hopes of playing with my friend, Tommie.  As I grew older, I would go to Jackie (or James) for a cut.  They were the first to straighten my (back then) very curly hair.

Many weekends were spent with Tommie and her loving parents at their home on Olive Street.  I always knew Jackie had my best interest at heart.   She was always welcoming to us and made sure we were well fed and having a good time.

 

After Wesley was diagnosed with Leukemia, I once ran into her at a local store and, as most people did, she asked how he was feeling – usually I said ‘oh he’s ok’ but that one afternoon I just unleashed all the pressure and the tears flowed as I told her he was not well, and he was not fine, and she held me tight and listened and comforted me.  At that time, I realized she was the one person who understood what I was feeling, and she allowed me to be me – it was a moment I will never forget.

 

She was one of those friends you could go years without seeing but the bonds of friendship and familiarity remained strong.  The last time I got to visit with her was a few years ago at the wedding of Jenny and Charles.    

 

I will miss her but am grateful for the impact she had on me.  She probably never knew that impact and I am sad for that – I wish I had told her.  She was so influential to my growth and the person I am now. I am so grateful for her daughter and my good friend Tommie and I am grateful for her great-granddaughter Kale who I have encouraged and watched grow over the past few years – just as Jackie encouraged me and watched me grow.

 

Love you Jackie - Rest in Peace.  

...and the Class of '72 Has Another Loss

She was a quiet kid and she consistently tried to fly under the radar.  It wasn’t hard.  In school, I imagine she hoped (everyday) to not be called on in class.  As she grew into adulthood and went to work she did a good job, but when she and I crossed paths she aimed to do the least possible amount of interaction.  I do recall when we spoke, she was always kind.   

I'm sad I didn't know she had been sick.  The day she died she was 62 and her obituary picture was from our high school days.   I wonder why that one was chosen instead of one from her more recent years.  Was that a picture she chose in advance?

I went to her funeral today, it was a graveside service -- seven of us were there:  three family members, two neighbors, and two classmates.

I never knew her middle name was Jane - Diana Jane McNeill.

Rest in peace kind hearted Diana - you were a gentle soul in a chaotic world.

Retirement with Dandelions

I retired today and today Crayola retired the color dandelion.  Rather significant for me since my goal this summer is to rid my yard of anything called dandelion.

I'm not exactly sure when I knew it was time to retire.  About a year ago I started working from home four days a week and in the office for one day (Monday usually).  I enjoyed being at home and started really considering retirement - then at a point I knew it was time to wrap my career up.  Perhaps it was when Laura told me she was pregnant with #2.  

I have a few goals - I intend to make my spiritual growth my highest priority.  I want to write a book. I want to volunteer in my community.  I want to recreate my Grandmother's gardens.  Perhaps travel the world. I want to learn to make pies - really good pies. 

I want to share my family history with my grandchildren - the same history my grandparents shared with me. I want them to know about their ancestors and I want them to know about me.  I want to teach them what the names of the stars are and I want to watch sunrises and sunsets with them sitting next to me.  

I'm really excited for the days to come...

Morning Sunrise and Bundles

This morning I woke up with my 2 year old grandson, Grayson, in the bed next to me - all snuggled up in the warm sheets and blanket.  In the dark, early morning hour I gently got out of bed to take the dog out for his morning walk, made coffee, and then headed to the computer for my morning devotional.

As the pink hues of the sun began to glow across the horizon I hear this little voice in a questioning tone, "Nana?"  My heart swells with joy.  The day begins and the gifts of God continue.  This morning I am happy and so grateful for the blessings He sends.

Telecommuting - Day 1

Today starts my next chapter - TELECOMMUTING.  I am so excited to get to do this everyday except Monday when I will go into the office.  I'm keeping a diary of what I wear each Monday so as not to wear the same favorite outfit every week - I figure I should be able to never wear the same thing twice for the next 9 months.  My goal is to get up every morning and walk 30-45 minutes - this is (of course) in place of the time spent driving into work - I'll definitely save on my car wear and tear not to mention the toll charges.  I plan to wear yoga pants & t-shirts everyday unless I decide different.  I've let my friends who are local know that I'm available for lunch - just sayin' (but of course not wearing yoga pants and t’s)  

So today I got up, got dressed, drove to the 'sidewalk by the lake' and walked 30 minutes.  Living on a highway with no sidewalks makes me have to drive to my chosen walking path.  There were a few walkers already out when I arrived - most looked to be retirees - hmmm, so this is what you do when you retire.  I can handle that.  I turned my tunes to the soundtrack of HAMILTON and off I went.  Then this happened...

When my boss approved the telecommuting agreement she said it was my test drive for retirement - I agreed.

Praising God from whom all blessings flow…

Bundles Will Have 2 Grandmothers (& 1 Great)

Last night I went with Laura to the Tate Farm to look over items they are auctioning this weekend.  Her brother-in-law, Evan, is doing some clean-up on the farm and amongst the tractors, trailers, fence rails, and machinery (that I have no name for) there were a few trailers with personal items from Gammy, Nathan’s grandmother, and Nancy, Nathan’s mom. 

As I walked the trailers of discarded items with Laura, she would explain what the item was, who had once owned it, where it fit in each home.  It was sad to know they would be sad to see their items ending up on a trailer in the middle of a cow pasture.

Quite a few years ago during a pre-show discussion with my Steel Magnolias cast we speculated on when, if ever, I would become a Grandmother.  As I stood in front of the make-up mirror checking my lipstick one of the cast commented that I wouldn’t have to compete for the baby’s attention since Nathan’s mom was ill – that she wouldn’t be able to dote on the baby the way I would.  I surprised myself by my reaction as I quickly turned and said I would much rather the baby have both grandmothers and that I wished Nancy wasn’t ill – I would rather her be fully in the baby’s life -- than not.  I’ll never forget the discussion and I’ll never forget how much I meant my statement.

I was so lucky to have both my Grandmothers for more than 50 years.  They each were an integral part of my life and I think of them everyday.  The best parts of me came from them – they both gave me so much of who I am – I can’t imagine my life without them.  They are my inspiration and the kind of inspiration I hope to give Bundles – to show unconditional love, faith in God, and that no matter what - there is love.

As we walked the pasture Laura stopped at some plastic bins filled with Christmas items.  She pulled out a small round decorative box and as she removed the lid she showed me the hand painted ornaments inside.  She told me this was how Nancy stored her ornaments every year.  Four ornaments lovingly painted by Nancy then gently placed in the box, surrounded by tissue paper to separate them from each other so they would look as good as new for the next Christmas.  She handed me the box. 

I plan to place this box of ornaments under my tree and every Christmas as we share gifts with Bundles I plan to share stories from Christmas' past, and I plan to show him or her this small box of ornaments and tell them that their Grandmother Nancy painted them long before he or she was born so they would be able see her talent and know how much she loves her family.

My goal is make sure Bundles knows the heroes from both families.

Bundles Danced Today

Last week Laura asked me to go with her to her next doctor appointment for Bundles.  Because of her diabetes Laura will have several prenatal tests and the first of those was today - the Down syndrome test. The test includes an ultrasound and a blood test.  The ultrasound will show a collection of fluid at the back of the baby's neck.  All babies have some of this fluid, but in babies with Down syndrome the amount of fluid is greatly increased. 

I got up this morning and to relieve some of the stress I knew I would carry today I decided a little exercise was needed, but before I got on the treadmill I signed on to my computer to read my devotional of the day.  Each morning I have 3 different emails with daily devotionals, but today’s scripture did not speak to my heart.  I switched over to Facebook to see what my friends had posted since yesterday and came across a post from my friend Beverly – she had taken a picture of her morning devotional and it started off “Entrust your loved ones to me…” the devotional addressed what God does in our lives if we trust Him -  “release loved ones to Me so that you can cling to My hand and as you do I am free to shower blessings” and those words were what I needed this morning.  I got on the treadmill and thanked God for what He was doing in my life.  As the treadmill belt circled underneath my feet my mind ran to Wesley (as it often does), and I smiled through the tears.  Along with God’s word, my boy’s spirit shows up at the right time, every time, to tap me on the shoulder and say “you got this Mom – God’s Angels are circling you and those we love”. 

So Laura and I headed to her appointment, both of us a little anxious (to say the least).  Finally they call us into the ultrasound room, there are a few minutes to prepare Laura for the test, the doctor enters and sits and immediately he notices a ring Laura has on her right hand and comments at how unique it is.  It is a small skinny silver band with script style engraving across the full circle of the ring - she tells him "the engraving is my brother’s name – Wesley Denton Singleton”.  The doctor pauses to register what she says and again comments on how pretty it is – this diminutive item on her hand has stopped his progress to begin the sonogram and as he stares at her hand I tell him that Wesley died from leukemia when he was 5.  The doctor looks over to me, he slightly nods, and begins his search for Bundles.

As he starts the ultrasound I hear 'Bundles' heart beat – my heart sings! 

Bundles is turned to a position that they can’t see the back of the neck so the ultrasound doctor said to me, “push here “ and as I did the baby turned, wiggled, and danced at my touch - needless to say my tears streamed. The doctor said everything looked exactly as it should (more tears and immense relief) – just for reassurance I turned to the nurse and as she caught my eye she said softly it couldn't be any more perfect.

As we head for our car, Laura still grinning at my reaction to all of this says once the doctor noticed her ring she was fine – she knew Wesley was watching over her and all was well.  I put my arm around her and with tears flowing I said “yep – he’s got us covered and his spirit is always with us at just the right time!”! 

Laura says I'll tell this story to bundles for years to come – I pray I do, I pray I do.

And every day I will sing the doxology to Bundles – “praise God from whom all blessings flow....”